Dodging Bullets/Tips on Surviving in the Urban Jungle

My Pen Mates,

Try as I may to stray from my "belek" theme, I somehow always manage to find parallels between my "babe" and how life truly is. It's trite but true: we are creatures of habit and see the world and act within it according to our nature. And because we are all different from one another, all we can hope for is to find a common ground, a chemistry that makes living together survivable. That in the course of the day, we happen to cross paths with someone who we have very little in common with is the source of a lot of our misery sometimes-- and also a lot of opportunity.

It's the lemon-lemonade saying, but it's more difficult if the juice is being squirted into your eye. To me, the lesson has been not to expect to resolve everything to my satisfaction. Sometimes the path is made apparent not by persistence but by accident. The Three Stooges metaphor for life is what I call it; the whipped cream is thrown at someone who happens to bend or turn unmindful of the aggression. Another person gets the pie in the face instead and retaliates by throwing a punch, missing his mark, getting hurt, then turning to inflict pain towards another by accident. The audience laughs because it's benign meanness. That's how we should all deal with life. No one is truly out to get us, but the way events unfold seem to conspire against us. The biggest enemy is in our heads, when we conjure up foes where they don't exist, and problems when they have no factual basis.

They say a mild form of paranoia is necessary for survival, that without fear a man is dead in the field of battle. But when we consider everything a battle and a matter of survival, these instincts engulf us and make us spectators instead of participants in life. And there is zero chance that: we'll defeat every foe all the time, solve every problem every time, maneuver around every obstacle at every instance! What makes us strong is actually getting bonked in the head, tripping, getting hurt__ and rising to get it right the next time. Without this richness of experience, falls are more precipitous, failures are more calamitous, even fatal.

I was faced with a dilemma this morning when I realized that a lab order came with different lab specs than what I needed. The Rx was perfect but the edge was intended for another type of mount. My customer is flying out to Europe tomorrow, and even if I ate the cost of a replacement, the lenses are so specialized that it cannot get processed in time. The loss would have been twofold and my anxiety began to mount. As I read my notes, it was apparent that it was a lab error. My assistant placed the order correctly so the lab was obligated to cover the replacement. But that does not mitigate the loss of my clients business. Prudently, I resolved to let him know of the issue. During the call, I realized that he has been mulling the idea of changing the order from since he placed it. Astoundingly, he was thinking of switching to another frame--one that will render the lens I had on hand useful! I dovetailed with the idea and the issue was resolved to every ones satisfaction.

A classic case of dodging the bullet, but it was the Three Stooges principle at work. Going with the flow and conducting myself according to my obligation revealed the solution. There was no "Matrix" style bullet dodging here, just plain old swallowing hard and facing the music. And you know what? Even if the outcome did not work to my advantage, it would still have been okay. The simple truth is that it was either going to be a hard lesson, or a soft lesson. Neither of which would have kept me down.

Mon