My Pen Mates,
Rare is the writer who writes of things beyond his sphere of experience. Even fiction writers have to draw on imagination based on life-bias and special interest; research and relationships strengthen ones' credibility, but the creative essence needs to originate from the author's experience.
Sunny days are universally shared. It's become a euphemism for optimism, hope and happy times in everyone's experience. It evokes clarity, innocence, and imperviousness to the vicissitudes of those moments when darkness prevails. It's those days that you mentally grasp on to in loneliness, when it feels the walls seem to close in.
I'm willing my self to reminisce those days more times than I care to acknowledge. A functioning adult has to have that ability to cope these days, but in my case, I need to shoe horn that positive outlook into the current moment or risk walking barefoot down streets full of blades and embers. Each sunrise is an emergence into a cascade of staggering challenges and it's all I can do to flip the sunshine switch to allow me to overcome worry and start out of bed. Mentally, I have the power to focus on the tasks at hand, regain a perspective that pushes aside irrational concerns before it forces me to curl in a fetal position. I truly think it's a gift, that the mind power this requires is necessary for one to become balanced and equipped to achieve bigger things in the world.
That's not to say that positive things never come on their own. They do, and sometimes without the filter of wilful focus. The randomness of life is a boon to the over-examined existence, as trepidations of consequences are also constantly assaulted by the refreshing winds of change. As the waves pulverize rocks that line the shore, they also wash away detritus that can foul up the beach. The balancing act never ceases; the battle rages even when all there is is silence. I manage to crawl back to bed at night, sometimes oblivious to the weight of the baggage I'm bringing into the darkness. I'm sure I fail to be thankful sometimes even on those days when the load is light and these is less weight that brings me down at night. I pray for sunny days, thankful to have even just memories of it, grateful when sunlight caresses my face.
Mon
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