My Pen Mates,
Like a wound up spring coil releasing its tension, an idea erupted which I couldn't quite contain. I couldn't grasp its gist quick enough to form a relatable truth so I'm certain I could not fully share its value. It has something to do with what people do; the way they express their thoughts, and the way their personality creates an expression framework that's essentially selfish and conceited.
It's quite humbling to view the way knowledge is handed down from generation to generation. Even textbook knowledge can be filtered to reflect a general bias, which can be influenced by a select few; and by that criteria, what we learn as truth can be vastly different from what we actually know and are able to impart. So when we "educate" people such as those we work with, our friends, spouses, and children, what we are sharing is our interpretation of the world as we experience it. It is the truth as we understand it, and even when we fabricate facts, the lies get intertwined with the fabric of multiple truths that makes up who we are, so people listening to us form a "true" picture of who we are as they see it.
That's why wisdom is far more valuable than intelligence. Whereas the latter is associated with learning fundamentals and an ability to breakdown knowledge into component facts, the former has a broader focus on simple but ephemeral truths such as peace, happiness, and unity. I realized with the mental flare I've just had that these per se are not transferable constants that I can give my children to help them navigate a complex world in uncertain times _ a perpetual condition in any age. Possessing wisdom, an ability to simplify knowledge to make it relatable, and disciplined focus to stay on course to advance both _ while all important and admirable traits for a teacher and speaker _ does not elevate anyone beyond a pedagogue if imparting such does not inspire. In this regard, I think I've fallen way behind in dealing with my children.
I've fallen into the classic template of parenthood, where I know I know more, that it is my duty to teach, guide, and discipline them while they'll still listen, and with certainty that what I do, given the breadth of my experience, will serve to make them better people with less of the mistakes I've already made. After all, I'm sharing the wisdom gained from forty five years of experience plus a lot of book knowledge. If they'll only pay attention, I'm showing them a short-cut, a step-up if you will, so they can pursue higher goals, forge pathways I never attained, achieve more than what I ever could hope to do.....
And therein lies my failing. I'm perpetuating the fallacy that we can share with our children something more other than good habits and good memories; that somehow we can make them into people other than what they are destined to be. It's as if we can spare them the mistakes they are destined to make (the only true teacher), with all the guidelines we set. What I should be working on is becoming the person I want them to reflect; the person they'll look at and say: I can be like that, maybe better.
It's troubling to acknowledge that this is actually what advertising does! We see happy, healthy people wearing shoes, using shampoos and deodorants, eating yogurt, making pancakes, etc., and we want to emulate them. We buy into the idea of success, joy, harmony, and general well-being if we are shown those images. Why can't I be that advertisement for my family? I want to motivate them by being a person worthy of the aspiration. There never has to be any deception, coercion, or over-involved instruction. The actions are the guidelines, and the interactions are the instructions. I can never totally shield them from the mistakes they need to make, but if I can cause them to pause at important thresholds in their lives, and cause them to reflect on what they saw in me and how to prudently move on based on their own life lessons and those observations, then I would have gone beyond teaching them. I would have inspired...
Mon
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