My Pen Mates,
I was caught off guard with a question my son asked of me yesterday; I just picked them up from school and from out of the blue he wondered why, with all my smarts and an obviously high IQ, I don't own a bigger, more successful business. Pausing to take in the question and frame a response, I was divided between telling him what he needed to hear or what I wanted him to understand. I said success is an accumulation of advantages and intelligence is but one aspect of it. There are elements involved like drive, timing, and luck. Circumstances can come together to allow these advantages to come together, and the guy who recognizes the opportunity, seizes, and acts upon it will ultimately gain an advantage towards achieving success. Stressing that one needs to work diligently and constantly to recognize opportunity, I tried to make headway into making him (and his sisters) understand that hard work trumps intelligence when it comes to business success.
Of course, it didn't skip my attention that the question was based on a perception that I was not successful enough in what I do, and this despite him recognizing that I am intelligent and hold the reigns of the family. At that moment, it was, and still is, a scary exchange because my son's dawning awareness of social stature has caused him to look inwards and took stock of the family situation. I do not consider myself insecure and certain trade-offs were part of a life-plan between me and my wife when we started a family (that during their formative years, our children will be under our direct care when they're outside of school). But this latest question is making it clear that we need to make adjustments to current arrangements, and that perhaps we have not accumulated enough advantages to be considered a success in the eyes of our teen-aged son.
But more disturbing than this transition (it needed to happen in the next chapter of our lives at any rate), is the realization that an accumulation of knowledge does not necessarily translate to success. We parents all pursue a great education for our children. Scholastically, their grades are our measure for this sought after advantage. Those with a wider view of the world are wise to integrate sports, social and environmental service, spiritual balance, and human compassion in the holistic upbringing of a child. It improves their chances in the opportunity seeking game, and allows them a wider berth in a strangely competitive world.
Because knowledge is not awareness; its association with contemplation and assessment does not rise to the multi-sensory engagement of being aware. Hence the idiom paralysis by analysis relates to people who know what needs to get done but find a reason why it shouldn't be. An educated gut reaction more aptly describes the path of one seeking an accumulation of advantages to gain success. If one were to rely solely on intellect to seize upon an opportunity, the exclusion from consideration of various other factors involving timing, context, drive, and passion which engages other senses results in an academic rather than real-world torment necessary to apply an idea.
Not to belabor the point, but how many ingenious mental notes have each adult come up with and never pursued? Over dinner in a social circle, how many pet projects, start-ups, resolutions, and goals are ever broached but never to be heard of again? There are so many thinkers amongst us and not enough executors. We have totally conditioned our existence around the anatomical position of our heads relative to all our other organs, when what really counts is what the head dictates to the hands, feet, skin, and yes__ heart. It's narcissism at its worse when we fail to accumulate components to success in the course of lifetimes because we are too timid or insolent to act upon a vision.
I have an aunt who have always expressed humorous derision about my constant reading. She often wondered what, other than entertainment, all my readings have done to improve my life. I've never really answered that question, and now my son seem to echo the same query. Though I have started my own business and taken bold steps to cover aspects of my family life in the context of a holistic concept, it seems that I have reach a point of reassessment. Perhaps my senses have not of late been working in sync to absorb current realities. The soured economy, growing family, and diminishing physical ability, should serve to prod me to a sharper awareness of choices and opportunities. I've long since taken my personal knowledge for granted for I believe that it's accumulation has been deeply ingrained in my routine that there is no conscious effort to constantly pursue it; but I need to re-awaken to the new realities and engage in a more active pursuit of positive results. I need to be hungrier than before, more wide-eyed, even more passionate about acting out my ideas to lift the veil of ennui clouding my vision of opportunity. I cannot be young again to pursue pies in the sky, but I can come to terms with what I have and still muster the courage to pursue dreams.
Mon
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