The risk of caring

My Pen Mates,

If you've ever been hurt, this takes on a different meaning. I figure we oftentimes associate heartbreak with broken relationships and failed loves. Caring is an expression of affection and a demonstration of ones devotion to a person, object, or a cause. While I guess it's natural to hold these sentiments, I want to define the risks associated with it.

The risk of caring lies in the emotional exposure and the vulnerability that develops by proximity to the object of care. If we develop empathy even with those who oppress us(Stockholm Syndrome), what more of those who we already identify with and expressed loyalty and devotion to? Even as a career, care giving can present complex and deep risks because it's hard to dissociate one's self from the physical and emotional experience of the one needing care.

That we develop contempt is the other edge of this volatile sword. We learn to block and neglect the reality of the situation and deny the needy of the appropriate attention. But how often do we oscillate between the two sentiments? When does rationality become subjugated to a yearning for escape and separation? The longer the connection between patient and caregiver, I believe the more often the tendency to turn from being an enabler on one end and an oppressor on the other. I can only imagine the seemingly narrow yet convoluted maze these dynamics follow. It's almost as if the rest of the world is shut off intentionally, to the exclusion of other people, other emotions, other options; just to dwell on the pressing need to either care or escape. In such a small sphere, the mental prison could be so debilitating that we become paranoid, depressed, or both. But how does one alleviate these pressures? It's a cloud that follows you wherever you are and whatever you're doing. It's a nagging feeling that distracts you from having fun or letting go. So people slip, and slip, and slip, and get swallowed by profound sadness. They get tortured from within, not recognizing themselves after a while,-- then care no more....

Mon